Monday, September 19, 2011

Worst Movies Ever Blogfest


Today I'm participating in the Worst Movies Ever Blogfest, organized by Alex Cavanaugh.  I only selected movies I've seen (I say this because I know of worse, but having never seen them, I feel it's unfair they be included).  The movies listed reflect my opinion only; these were horrible experiences for me, which doesn't mean they were necessarily horrible for you.  It's all about diversity, folks!

The Ten Worst Movies Ever

10.  Fame (2009): Because when the movie ended, nobody wanted to live forever. 

 
 
9. The Village (2004): The movie we do not speak of, staring those we do not mention, should be advertised as 'the film we must not sit through.'


 
8.  Death Becomes Her (1992): Give me a break (no pun intended, since the movie focused on watching people break into pieces after taking some immortality potion). 


 
7.  Coneheads (1993): It should have been named NO HEADS, after those who wrote the script.


 
6.  From Justin To Kelly (2003): Some things, even I don't understand, like how it's possible this nonsense was in theaters to begin with (I'm singing this to you).  



5.  I Know Who Killed Me (2003): Because ten minutes into this movie, I wanted to be killed also.


 
4.  Lady In The Water (2006): Supposedly based on a bedtime story, this tale is sure to knock out even the most caffeinated viewers.


 
3.  Jeepers Creepers (2001): The only thing eating me was the ten bucks I wasted.
 

 
2.  The Royal Tenenbaums (2001): Because you can find a better plot in porn.
 

 
1.  Reign of Fire (2002): Had I known what I was walking into, I'd have torched myself for the occasion.
 

 
And finally.....just for fun...
 
The worst movie to be made in the future is....
 
Jer$ey Sh0re, The Movie (2015)
 
When bride-to-be Sammi catches her fiance, Ronnie, smooshing in the lovecuzzi with a sloppotamus, she calls off her wedding for the fifth and final time (HA!).  Bridesmaids JWoww and Deena comfort Sammi in her 45,865,817 time of need, taking her out for an evening of fist pumping, drinking, and making out in cabs.  Meanwhile, The Situation uses his check from Abercrombie to have a foursome, while best-selling author Snooki comes face to face with her ghostwriter.  When learning a sequel is not in the cards, she enrolls in Pole Dancing 101 and advances to head of the class.  Pauly is brought on a daytime talk show where his latest stalker makes him take a paternity test for the twins she is carrying.  Vinny practices growing a beard while plotting to destroy the duck phone and Hurricane Angelina returns to seduce the guidos and fight the meatballs.


Thanks for stopping in today.  Enjoy the rest of the Blogfest!

31 comments:

  1. That Jersey Shore film plot sounds hilarious! This post made my morning. Thanks!

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  2. The Royal Tenenbaums - hated that movie! Same with The Village. I did really dig Reign of Fire though.
    Thanks for participating in the blogfest!

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  3. Oh boy. M. Night Shyamlan certainly deserves to be on this list more than a few times. Every movie he makes tries to have the same trope as The Sixth Sense. It doesn't work.

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  4. "Because you can find a better plot in porn" is my absolute favorite phrase of...well...EVAR! I haven't seen any of these, and it seems that's a good thing!

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  5. i love dragons in any sort of light... i teared up on your list.
    :)
    i love bad/worst movies, these lists are tough!
    jeremy
    twothumbseightfingers.blogspot.com

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  6. Haha love your comments! Brilliant.

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  7. Yeah, MNS's definitely earned a director's spot. One of my fave worst movies was STARSHIP TROOPERS, which I insist was great satire, though my wife insists it was just a great travesty.

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  8. Wow, Paul, you certainly didn't hold your punches with this one. My posting today was a quiet, wimpy whimper, while yours was like a drill sergeant pulling rank on cadets, or something to that effect. Nicely played, my friend.

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  9. The Royal Tenenbaums was all right I thought....but yeah, I totally agree about JEEPERS CREEPERS.It's really your B level slasher flick...which is a B level kind-of-flick to begin with.

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  10. The way you warned us about the Village totally cracked me up. So true.

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  11. LOL. I love your comments about the movies!

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  12. I didn't hate Lady In The Water or Reign of Fire. Oh well.

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  13. Booo! The Royal Tenenbaums was brilliant! You nailed the other ones though.

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  14. I am so with you on all of these and I love, love your Jersey Shore movie plot synopsis. Had me laughing til I snorted. I look at these bad movies we've listed and wonder, what in the eff were people drinking and or smoking when arrived at the script and casting decisions.

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  15. There are some really bad ones here. M. Night Shyamlan has some real stinkers to his credit. Death Becomes Her was as bad as it gets. Can't believe I actually wacthed it in its entirety.

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  16. Forgot all about Death Becomes Her. Really bad. And, yes, you know they will make the Jersey Shore movie. In fact, they may be contacting you to write a script any day now.

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  17. I think if Hollywood stumbles on this blog, The Snooki Movie will become reality. The Village just irked me, like I watched this whole thing only for it to be some sort of moral lesson. Like one of those church haunted houses that warn you against premarital sex. Great list!

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  18. You're so funny! Totally agree with your list.

    And the future Jersey Shore movie? GENIUS.

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  19. oh my gosh--Death Becomes Her! I'd forgotten all about that terrible movie, lol!

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  20. The Royal Tenenbaums was one of my favorite movies! I can't believe how many people had From Justin to Kelly on their list - I didn't even see that one. We both had Lady in the Water on our lists! The Village was terrible as well, but I had so many others competing for space that I left it off!

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  21. At least I can say I saw a few of these. Unfortunately, I can't say I enjoyed them much more than you did. I do like some of the music from Fame though (being a sucker for musicals even if they're bad).

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  22. Oh I actually liked a couple of these. Not like, $9 in the movies but like I would drop a $1 redbox rental on them.

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  23. Those were some really crappy movies. Loved the synopsis of Jersey Shore.

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  24. LOL, I loved your commentary on these. :) I'm a new follower via Alex's blog hop. Nice to meet you.

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  25. Lady in the Water was rather stupid. I expected so much more, but M knight Shamalan has the habit of letting me down. Nice to meet you. :)

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  26. Enjoyed Reign of Fire. Jersey Shore movie! That's hilarious.

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  27. Great list. I think any worst movies list is soon becoming a place for M. Night Shymalan. He has fast become the next Uwe Boll.

    Great blog by the way. I'm following you now.

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  28. I hated The Village too. What a rip off! So much so that I refused to watch Lady In The Water. Now I'm glad.

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  29. I really liked The Village and The Royal Tenenbaums...

    Dave
    Dave Wrote This

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